Hari ni satu hari sakit kepala. Semua sebab bangun mengejut pukul 4 pagi tadi (oh, ada kemungkinan sebab hal intern juga). Bangun dan hampa bukan satu perasaan yang menarik.
Tadi berlari, tapi berhenti separuh jalan. Semua sebab (tiba tiba) teringat mimpi pukul 4 pagi tadi. Baru faham kenapa bangun dan hampa pukul 4 pagi. Menguap (sebab kurang oksigen) sambil berlari bukan satu perkara yang menarik (oh, mungkin juga sebab sakit kepala).
***
Thirty nine days...
since the last time I watched you from the side mirror, crossing the street from where you dropped yourself off.
Thirty nine. Since the moment I stepped out of the co-driver's seat (that has been mine for the past months when you were driving), and had my sister ogle at us from the backseat, and had my best friend hold back tears (which had nothing to do with us), and I shared that look with you, and you held my hands (probably so that ogling sister would not see, haha), and I squeezed your hands one last time, and popped into the driver's seat and drove off watching you watching me drive off. Thirty nine.
Seventy eight since the two days of heaven with our (music playing) family.
It does not feel like thirty nine days.
Or seventy eight.
It just doesn't.
No matter what I tell myself.
Hari ni susah nak percaya diri sendiri (haha)
Terima kasih mimpi.
***
Circumstances doesn't always work your way does it? No matter how much and how hard your Heart yearns (yes) for it. No, no. I do not wish for things to be any different. Nor do I wish it to be simpler or any easier. It is as it is for reasons that we may or may not understand.
It is this feeling that comes with every sight of things and people and words and even cats, that triggers the memory and tugs at the Heart. It is this tug, this pang that makes everything seem (a wee bit) difficult but worth it at the same time. All in a way that is so ironic it's...weird? Weird. Yes, I'll settle with that.
***
Weird.
I'm sure those who grew up with me, is close to me, used to know the skeptic side of me, seen the ice queen-robotic-emotionless side of me and heard the (many heartbreaking) stories find me weird now.
Kan? (haha =P)
***
Selamat Hari Khamis (malam Jumaat) semua!
Jom study Wi-Tech!
=)
9 comments:
tumpang lalulalang...
lalala
berlari pas2 menguap bnde pelik ok!
Macha_sez,
sila sila
=)
Ikin,
haha! pelik yes.
sakit (sikit!) juga.
sila membebel bawak inhaler SEBELUM jog tau tau!
=P
Lina,
Bunga akan nampak indah
Ketika musim bunga bermula
Mencium pucuk-pucuk kecilnya
Namun kasih akan sentiasa
Nampak indah dari bunga
Kerana ia terus tumbuh tanpa bantuan musim.
~Khalil Gibran
Gibran & Rumi. They have been a great help throughout my bad days. Indulge. You'll feel better, I promise.
:)
Luly~
Kelakar kan rasa rindu ni?
But yes, thank you so very much!
=)
p/s: kan aku dah cakap last sem! aku pasti akan post benda benda macam ni nanti. hehe (read:hihi) =P
ok, aku nak gelak...
bley kan? ko x marah kan?
ahahaha
mmfffttt.
dah agak dah!
especially from you =P
I feel good reading this. Thanks.
Hihi? Haha!
Oh, oh erm you're welcome?
Teehee (Tiihii haha!)
=P
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